The Dream-Like Wonder of Ducks Galore

Usually this time of year I am (1) sleep deprived, (2) unable to sleep or (3) procrastinating so much that sleep becomes oblivious, as do my urgent assignments.

These "assignments" will have to wait long enough for me to jabber on with nonsense for the time being.

My first year of graduate school is almost over and I feel okay with that feeling. More than anything I want to be finished, so I can feel like I have finally started something by finishing something. Although, moving across the country counts for something, I suppose. And yet, I have the nagging feeling that I've not yet begun anything. Whether this be papers, short stories, or just that small progress toward some imaginary accomplishment--I still feel that it hasn't yet started.

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Down the page and through my messy life to (dot) (dot) (dot)

I cleaned my room tonight. That's an accomplishment of a sort. My library fees cancel that out, but hey, who's keeping count of THOSE motherfuckers?

I feel like sharing a mini-story of my restless night last night:

I wake up and the sky is still dark. I figure it must be around 4 a.m. ish. Correctly I discover this after stumbling into a pile of books, crashing back into my bed and into the safety of my warm covers. Too bad the heat is blasting and I can't breathe. The covers fly off. Fuck. My brain refuses to shut off. Instead of bickering to myself in the dark like an old grumpy lady, I turn to my iphone on and begin to read the entirety of the New York Times articles. Every last one of them online. Done. Accomplished. Wide Awake. I toss and turn. Fuck. I move on to the last resort, ahem, craigslist, naturally. I sort my way through the job ads, brousing for the off chance that one day I will stumble upon the perfect job that has no name, or description, but instead CALLS OUT TO ME FROM THE ABYSS THAT IS THE INTERNET, in only the way craigslist could muster, screaming in 12 point times font: I AM PERFECTION INCARNATE AND NO ONE BUT YOU DESERVES THIS JOB...WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.

I'll keep going, because I'm about to get to the good part and away from all this crap. I move on to the pets section. I'm staring at pictures of abandoned dogs and lost parrots, guinea pigs and hermit crabs without a cage or sand trap to call home. Pages of bunnies with clever names like Alfred and Seymour and Bogie the Bunny. Nobody wants those poopmachines. No one. A lost cat with a pink flashing collar, a lost lizard named Steve, and then lo and behold something entirely random and impossible happens. I stumble upon something like this in the glorious hour of 5:15 a.m.

Breed of ducks that don't make too much noise?

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Reply to: comm-ccycr-1154763254@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-05-04, 6:00PM PDT


I live in San Francisco, but I have a big backyard and we are building a nice pond.

I wanted to get ducks, but I don't want loud ones so as to disturb neighbors. Is there such thing as quiet ducks? I am especially worried that they will be loud at night.

Is there by any chance some bizarre breed of quiet ducks? I know that is a stretch.

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I feel like at this point, everyone should slow down and realize the absurdity of the situation here. Maybe, just maybe I'm beginning to sound like a whackjob, but honestly folks? I laughed so loud I think I woke everyone in the house up. I hid under the covers giggling like some kid at a slumber party. Non-quacking ducks? Fucking QUIET DUCKS? God what the hell.

Speaking of ducks, I hope everyone took note of the two ducks that somehow landed in front of my office window this morning while I was at work. Two mallards wandered into the grassy area in front of the Humanities building at SF State. I'm sure all my friends back in North Carolina are taking eager note of this great accomplishment for the water fowl species. The nerve of those fuckers to just come in and take over and do whatever it is that ducks do in front of English buildings. They just stayed there and waddled around. Later in class I began asking around to see how many observent English majors took note of this odd phenomenon, and only one responded in equal confusion and astoundment.

I have so many stories that are backlogged because of classes. Oh this summer will prove to be glorious for catching up and relaxing and just enjoying things again.

Until next time, keep tabs on quiet ducks.